My “Ode to Men”

I started this letter with someone specific in mind. I genuinely wanted to apologize for something. In the end, I don’t even remember the point I was trying to make. But, here goes…

Dear X,

I will begin this letter openly and honestly by saying I have no idea why I am writing you today. Maybe it’s because of some deep-seared guilt I hold and carry around with wherever I go. Maybe I need to make amends. I really don’t know for sure. But, I do know this,

You are, whether you like it or not, a signifcant male figure in my life. If history serves me right, and it always does, that means our relationship is or will become broken. Give it time! It will happen.

I have always found a way to tater and ruin ALL of my male friendships or relationships in general. I can’t explain why. I love men! I think men are the greatest.

Handsome and hairy. Tall, to reach thkngs up high. Strong, so you can open pickle jars. You are often wise beyond your years while simultaneously being a goofy, little child. You have a sttong sense of pride. You can separate emotiond from any other aspect of life, which rarley leaves you vulnerable. You all have an amazing sebse of humor. You are self aware. You’re handy and brilliant when it comes to solvonf problems or fixing things. When you start something, you never leave it unfinished. Those of you who respect women, adore women with their heart and soul. Men are extremely sexy! So hot! A man’s physique can be sexy fat, skinny, short, or talk. I love men!

But, even with all of the love and respect I have for the opposite sex, my relationships with men ia skewed, broken, complicated.

Why?

Is it because I’ve been lied to by men? Is it because I fall in love with every man I get close to? Is it because I hpld men to a certain standard? Is it because I am intimidated by them? Is it becausr my emotions are fickle; one moment, I don’t want to be touched, then the next moment, I cry because no one will hold me? Why is wrong with me? I have been hurt by women before, several times, actually, and it hurts just as much, but for some reason, I always give women a pass for their fucked up behaviours. I always justify it somehow. But men, I interpret every action extremely personally. I love men so hard that when I end up being hurt by them, it fucks with my head and my heart for a long time. And, I carry those heavy feelings around with me, spewing it back at the next man I get close to, a vicious cycle that I don’t know how to correct.

Which leads me to the point of this letter.

I never ended up finishing the letter. I only read my “ode to men” over and over again. And cried…

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One thought on “My “Ode to Men”

  1. I’m confident one day this letter will be finished. Every broken heart and relationship left without closure up until that point will have lead you directly into the arms of a partnership that you’re truly worthy of. One day a man will respect & accept all of you’re walls and baggage built from past mistakes other guys made in there attempts. He will have patience and love you with a heart full of understating for everything that makes you who you are. True unequivocal love will find you mend your heart & put your mind at ease. He’ll be the proof that you’re idea every romantic relationship is doomed to fail was only true up until you met him. had any of the previous relationships flourished you’d never made it to the point to give this letter the happy ending that maybe you didn’t believe to be possible. Always remember if something doesn’t work out the way you hoped for there is something to take from the tragedy. A more beautiful love is waiting just over the horizon. Your path to happiness is bound to be littered with potholes of failure along the way. Success isn’t something that comes easy you have to fail numerous times before the circumstances are right for you to come up with exactly what is right for you. Don’t ever give up, you’re a good person and good people will find there way into your life .
    ❤️Ode to your heart❤️ Love Anon

    Liked by 1 person

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